Travel or Children – The fight between my biological clock and wanderlust

Travel or Children – The fight between my biological clock and wanderlust

Trying to make huge life choices when all I want to do is go to Disney World again!

 

At the time of writing this post I am 31 and will turn 32 in under 4 months. When this happened, I am not quite sure and my thirties appear to have sneaked up on me. My thirties have been great so far – became an aunt twice, moved up at work, bought my forever home, experienced some amazing vacations, Iceland, Berlin, Paris, Orlando, Bahamas. Not only that I have some amazing vacations booked or being planned – Copenhagen, San Francisco, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Nashville, Shanghai to name just a few.

This is where my dilemma come in – at what point do I stop to become a parent or do I keep going around the world? How do I know when the time is right? Or even what is the right thing to do? Should I become a parent or should I continue to travel the world?

There are many people in life who are very clear in their choice to have a baby. Some people its everything they have ever dreamed of; some people know all their life that they don’t want kids.

I am somewhere in the middle. Some days there are yearnings for a child but not enough to make me sure that’s what I want.  For years I was confident I would never be a mother. Being an aunt was as close to being a mother as I wanted to get. Then one day I found myself wanting a child of my own. To have a life that I was responsible for, to care for, to nurture and to love unconditionally. As quickly as those feelings arrived they disappeared but do pop up every so often.

My wanderlust has remained high since my mid-twenties. If I have any free time, I will be looking up new destinations or planning vacations. Days are spent dreaming of far of locations and experiences. There has never been a vacation that I regretted. There have been plenty I wouldnt do again but none I have ever regretted.

Travel is my passion at this time in my life. Obviously a child and a trip to New York City are not comparable but the travel represents my freedom. Becoming a parent changes everything and that is the real choice I am trying to make. How do I know if I should become a parent?

Would I regret having a baby? Would I regret taking away my opportunity to travel the way I have done for the last few years? Are those pangs of maternal need enough to warrant changing everything about my life? Or will that baby arrive and all my dreaming of Hawaii and Bora Bora will fade away?

Some days I do find myself envious of those who know what they want. Envious of those who are sure parenting is for them and envious of those who have always know they will never be a parent.

 

The years remaining on my biological clock are disappearing fast. I know I am only 31 but with over two years of vacations in the planning and my birthday just a few months away, I will be on the wrong end of my 30s before I know it.  Its not like when I was in my mid-twenties and I could tell myself, its alright you have years to make those decisions.

Today my heart leans towards never being a mother but just yesterday I was planning maternity outfits and toddler activities on Pinterest.

Honestly I believe that no matter what happens, my husband and I will lead a happy, full and satisfying life. If that life will involves our family growing, only time will tell.

Has anyone else felt like this? Unsure of the decision to become a parent or live a life without the responsibility of motherhood. I just dont know – should I become a parent or continue to travel.

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4 Comments

  1. August 17, 2017 / 2:49 pm

    This is a really great post, and one that took a lot of courage to write. I think that you will figure it all out. I also know that having children doesn’t mean stopping forever. I have a friend who started traveling again almost immediately. I wouldn’t take a 6 month old to Guam, but you have to do what you are comfortable with. Whatever you decide, you’ll be happy, and I wish you all the best of luck!

  2. September 15, 2017 / 3:21 pm

    I’m sure you will know if the time is ever right. But do know that having children doesn’t mean you have to stop travelling. I have two, they are now 5 & 2 and I had them when I was 30 then 33. We live near Edinburgh and have always loved to travel. The year after our wedding we went to Sri Lanka, the Maldives, Italy, Florida, Bratislava & Vienna. Once I found out I was pregnant we went to Marrakech and Cologne but we were keen that we didn’t stop when kids arrived. We first took our son to Perth, Australia to visit my sister when he was 8 months then continued by visiting Florida, Disneyland Paris, Copenhagen and places in the UK before his little sister arrived. When she did she first went to Dubai, where my sister now lives, at only 6 weeks old and he was 3. We’ve also taken them both to Berlin, Florida, Disneyland Paris and Thailand. This year we did DLP again then most recently had a trip to Dubai & Hong Kong. We would love to do Japan next but just working out whether we could afford it yet or not. You will be happy whatever you decide. xxx

    • Lisa
      September 15, 2017 / 6:48 pm

      Wow that is some adventures your children have been on! Yes I will be happy whatever I decide, I just dont want to have to make the decision! Thanks for reading x

      • September 16, 2017 / 12:05 am

        Yes of course, it’s not easy having to make it. Good luck with everything and look forward to reading about your best adventures. We are Harry Potter tour / legoland bound next.

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